When the most fulfilling element in your life gets taken away: A professional female snowboarder fights against depression and mistreatment by her federation in order to fulfil her dream of an Olympic comeback.
Silvia Mittermüller is in a traumatic conflict with her federation. Being expelled from the national team immediately after her first Olympics participation, she plunges into depression with thoughts of suicide. It takes Silvia more than one year to recover. She dares a comeback and decides to tell her story in this film. But the president of the German snowboard federation tries to intervene in the making of the film. Does Silvia succumb to the threats or does she take the chance to start a new phase of her life?
2023 VFF Documentary Film Production Award Nominee – 38 DOK.fest Munich Best Directing – FILMZ Festival German Cinema
Director's comment
I had been a professional windsurfer for 10 years. Like Silvia, I grew up in a suburb of Munich, Germany. When I read about her depression in the German news magazine DER SPIEGEL, I immediately felt connected to Silvia’s story. After my own career had ended, I fell into a "black hole" myself. Throughout several years I was restlessly searching for an activity that would fulfill me in a similar way that my sport did – until I accepted that it wouldn’t exist. The sport slowly fades away – the body and psyche, which have become accustomed to the everyday activity, take many years to adjust to the after-sports-life. This can cause huge depressions. In my opinion, Silvia is fighting to continue her career in order to avoid that depression. And it seems particularly painful that a powerful man, a non-athlete, pulls the plug. I'm making this film to show how sensitive an athlete's psyche is and what it takes to let go.
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